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ALC has changed my life

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On June 3rd 2018, I rode in my first AIDS/Lifecycle ride. I had spent months training for this day, and the months were not easy. In December of 2017 our family home burnt down in the Thomas fire, and my world was turned on its head. The place where we always felt safe, and could return to in hard times was gone. Suddenly training for a bike ride was frivolous.

Fast forward to March of 2018, and the dust had figuratively and literally settled. I dove back into cycling headfirst. It was my time, I couldn't think or feel anything else as in those moments. The breathing in of air with my lungs on fire, the shooting pain of lactic acid building in my legs,became my drug and cure. I was training to complete ALC and I was loving every minute of it.

Within a matter of hours after crossing the finish line, something inside wasn’t right. I turned to my teammates for help. Days later I was sitting in the waiting room watching the clock tic by, as I though to myself "what am I doing here? This is ridiculous? I don't need this!" A few hours later I was diagnosed with bipolar and borderline personality disorder. I was both in shock and relieved. Finally my demons had a name, and I had the tools to conquer them once and for all.

When people hear the words bipolar, or borderline personality disorder the way they perceive you changes. Suddenly you are a headcase, crazy, a risk to yourself and others. This isn't the case. Yes I was achieving manic highs and throwing sense and caution into the wind. I couldn't comprehend the pain my actions would have on people. Then in the blink of an eye I would plummet into a hole where there was no light or end in site. However, it's more like being a burn victim. There is no tapering to a feeling, you either feel all of it and then some, or you feel nothing.

FUBAR has a saying, “Find strength in the struggle”, and if it wasn’t for the love of my teammates on FUBAR and community showed during ALC, I wouldn’t have found the strength to ask for help.

I will continue to ride every mile, so that I can help others find strength in their struggle the same way FUBAR gave me mine.

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My Achievements

Storyteller

Storyteller

Off and rolling

Off and Rolling

Making Big Moves

Making Big Moves

Climbing Upwards

Climbing Upwards

Halfway There

Halfway There!

Final Push

Final Push

You Made It

You Made It!

Reaching for the Stars

Reaching for the Stars

Investing in Yourself

Investing in Yourself

To Be Continued

To Be Continued...

World AIDS Day

World AIDS Day

spreading the word

Spreading the Word

Mission Ambassador

Mission Ambassador

Warrior

Warrior

Linked to care

Linked to Care

resilience

Resilience

Global citizen

Global Citizen

Health Justice

Health Justice

Elevate

Elevate

Dignity

Dignity

Knowledge is Power

Knowledge is Power

Champion

Champion

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TogetheRide benefits, and is jointly produced by, San Francisco AIDS Foundation (Tax ID # 94-2927405) and Los Angeles LGBT Center (Tax ID # 95-3567895), each of which is a nonprofit, public benefit corporation recognized as tax exempt under IRS Code Section 501(c)(3). Donations to TogetheRide are deductible for income tax purposes, to the extent permitted by law.